Seeing things differently
Most 7 year olds don’t have a care in the world
When I was 7 my whole entire world was completely different.
I had to look out for them.
‘Its okay they will be back soon’
We knew things we shouldn’t have known at that age.
I had to protect them from that.
I have to keep them safe.
I went to call the police sometimes when it would get bad, I didn’t know what else to do but it was too loud.
My Dad saw it as me interfering!
Social services came one night and everything changed
I was expected to act like a sister but I wasn’t just a sister, I never had been.
Everyone saw it different to me.
I felt lost
I didn’t feel like I could trust.
I tested the boundaries,
It was so hard being normal, being sisters. It became a struggle so I made a decision to leave.
Nagging feeling of guilt
The pressure was still there, it still is
What about them though?
Why wouldn’t she let me see them?
Contact failed because the wrong person was being listened to
I supposed contact makes the social worker think - will it cause them to become unsettled?
I started looking for ways to cope
I tried telling them but it just came out in anger
They were listening with their ears not their hearts
I didn’t know how to
The bond between us became weaker in time because we didn’t know the little things about each other anymore
Reactions all the time
Less time to think, only time to react
We want to feel loved
We need hugs and to be told we matter to someone
We didn’t choose this
There was so much confusion and hurt behind what we did
We cried a lot
Together and on our own
Now, things things are changing and they are changing in the right way.
We needed each other then
We need each other now.
Our bond was sown back together wrong because of misunderstandings
We will unpick it in time and make it right I know we will,
but I know how much of a struggle that’s going to be.
This piece starts with a powerful opening line and only gets stronger from there. Its language, pace and structure does a great job in conveying the situation that the author is facing and offers hope that their strength and determination will get them through. Well done and best wishes. Thanks for sharing. Keep writing!