Fostering stories

Conor takes a lot of pride in his appearance, but he doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty when it comes to cars.  Now he’s in Year 11 he’s keen to leave school and get trained up as a mechanic. He’s struggled growing up in an environment where his sexuality wasn’t always accepted.  Coping with bullying and depression has meant he has missed quite a lot of school and is no longer in mainstream education.

This LGBT Adoption and Fostering Week Alec and Kenny tell us why they're #proudtofoster

Alec and Kenny were inspired to become foster carers through Kenny’s work with children with behavioural issues, knowing that many of the children he worked with came from difficult backgrounds and now foster Matthew, a 16 year old with severe learning disabilities.

Lauren and Danny have been fostering for almost five years and are currently fostering an older child and a teenager as well as having a six month old baby of their own. Both placements they have are long term, “they’re part of our family,” and she feels their baby has helped “cement” the family and the given the boys a role as older brothers.

Lauren from Rochdale had a successful career working in family law representing parents whose children were in care. It was because of this experience that she decided to make the change to become a full-time foster carer.

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever done,” she says. “I can truly say that fostering is my vocation in life.

“I was working at a solicitors and I would attend meetings to hear all about these plans for the children and just thought, ‘that’s what I want to do, I want to help children’.

When Jack was six and Emily ten their mother died, their father became unable to cope and they were neglected. Jack and Emily went into foster care with a local family who already had a younger child. Their lives were turned upside down and they became shy and struggled at school. Neither of them was keen on trying anything new and they weren’t confident in their own abilities.

Jackie and Bob are a married couple in their 50’s who have been together for over 30 years and have two grown up sons. They have previously run successful businesses, including a pub, restaurant and shops. They are very family-orientated, and like to be kept busy, so fostering seemed like a perfect lifestyle change when business commitments were making their work-life balance tip in the wrong direction.

Elle Mae was then an enormous help in preparing her foster sister for the transition to her adoptive family. She made her an audio photo album as well as a memory box full of tactile things so that the little girl could feel them and remember the special things that she loved to do.

Gill and Roger are 44 and 54 years old respectively and have children who are now teenagers. They decided the time was right to share their home with other children who are in need of a safe and happy place.  They really want to do all they can to make a difference to a young person’s life, and have now been fostering for 1.5 years.

Not everything was plain sailing when their foster daughter first came to live with them, it took some time for their whole family to become accustomed to their new situation.  However, the family worked together to adjust to everyone’s needs.

Jenny became a foster carer following a career in Human Resources and has been a short break carer for three years starting off fostering part time but now as a full time career. She was looking to make a real impact on someone’s life and as a foster carer she enjoys making a real difference not only to the lives of the children and young people but also to their families.

“You’re probably too young to remember but it was the plight of the Vietnamese boat people that first got my husband and I interested in helping children,” says Stockport foster carer Glenys. “Because they were repatriated rather than fostered or adopted we couldn’t help them directly.

“But the idea of children that were in desperate need certainly opened our eyes the idea of fostering as a way of making a difference.”

Hear about what it's like to foster first hand; "The amount of people who would come up to me and say 'Oh I could never do that!'

It’s about rewards and goals. Make the goals a bit higher each time, and persevere. Fostering is challenging but you know what – it’s rewarding as well. Some young people come to you with nothing, they’ve never had anything. They’ve never had any routine before. To see them flourish is fantastic!

Mum of three Mary always thought her first year in fostering would mean caring for a baby or child with special needs.

But when she was offered the chance to foster a nine year old boy, she and her family decided age didn’t matter – and say it’s one of the best decisions they ever made.

'Sam fitted in really well right from the start which was good. Everyone in the family adored him and he made new friends very quickly in this new area,' said Mary who took Sam in on a long-term placement. He will now stay with her until he reaches adulthood.

“We came to fostering after seeing and advert in our local newspaper,” says Angela a carer from Halton in Merseyside. “We did the training, got assessed and within nine months we had two boys living with us. It really was that simple.

“I’m not going to deny it wasn’t a steep learning curve,” she continues. “But the two boys are still with us now aged 17 and 19. One’s doing his A-levels and the other’s at college. They make me so proud because of what they’re achieving in their lives.”

Ian and Kevin applied to Leeds after attending an information evening. They had a positive home visit and undertook the fostering assessment process. Ian and Kevin were new to Leeds so the Assessing Social Worker introduced them to local carers and discussed how the council could support them. Ian and Kevin were approved at panel to care for one child of primary school age.

Nichola and Gary Wood, both aged 35, have been fostering for five years. Nichola said: "Our own children were growing but still felt we had more to give, plus my job at the time was a nursery assistant so I knew I loved that role of looking after children. I love watching them progress in confidence and self-esteem, and the feeling of pride when their relationship positively develops, it is such a rewarding role.

Like most teenage girls India spends a lot of time on social media. She’s very into make-up and spends hours watching You Tube videos and blogging about beauty tips from her often untidy bedroom. India’s foster carer says day to day life with her is like a roller coaster with the big highs and low lows of teenage life. She’s helping India pursue her ambition of being a beautician helping her focus and get the grades to get onto a college course.

Diana had some preconceptions about being able to foster; “I’m a single woman with no birth children of my own. I was in my late forties and although I had a good job I’d never worked directly with children.”

“I remember the day I received the call offering my next placemen. I said yes and she arrived two hours later! She is now my beautiful seven year old daughter. She has overcome most of her problems now and I am so proud of her.”

Tyler mostly wants to do what his big brother is doing and looks up to him as a role model. He’s actually more into dinosaurs than computer games but will sit with Oliver when he’s on his Xbox and much to his brother’s frustration always wants to play too.  Oliver loves science fiction and playing Minecraft.  His autism spectrum disorder means that he’s keen on structure and consistency and is happy to spend lots of time on his own, often learning and experimenting with how electronics work.

Leona and her husband Chris have been fostering children for over eight years alongside their two birth children.

“We always knew we wanted to foster,” Leona explains. “My husband was given up for adoption as a baby and had a really positive experience. We had so much to offer and have both always loved being around children so we thought we’d give it a go.”

Both Leona and Chris’s own children and foster children have special and complex needs.

Olivia is 8 years old and is a bubbly character who is always laughing and singing. Olivia’s foster carers describe her as “very bright, sweet and beautiful”. They add that Olivia has a good sense of humour and charms them with her funny little sayings. Olivia enjoys music, singing and dancing and since being in foster care is becoming much more confident in trying new things, she has developed an interest in cooking since being with her current carers and enjoys spending time in the kitchen.